12, not 13. Part 4
The siren sounded.
I was stunned when I heard what the captain had just announced.
Captain: attention all passengers, we've struck a school of swordfishes and the ship is now very holey, we're going down. however, we have enough lifeboats for me and my family. so don't worry and panic about us. if u wish to survive, pls tie ur pyjamas up and use them as floats as how u're taught in swimming lessons. those who didn't go for swimming lesson before, lessons will be conducted in the common pool every tuesday 9am to 10am. it'll be $90 per lesson per person. sign up for the lessons early as place is limited. good night and have sweet shipwreck.
Wth? The captain is out of his mind.
Luckily I took swimming lessons before.
I quickly took out my pajamas and tied it up. I thought it wasn't safe enough so i tied a few more.
I ran out of my room and rushed to the deck.
I tripped over a person as I was running on the deck.
It was Brandon, covering his head with his hands and crying.
Me: omg why are u on the same ship as me? oh gosh. this ship is ill-fated to have u as its passenger and so suay shipwrecked. anw can u go and stop stoning here?
Brandon: i can't go, i nv go for swimming lessons before, i dunnoe how to tie pyjamas. i need to go to the common pool now and sign up for lessons.
Me: omg i can't believe u're more stupid than brandon. i'll give u one of my pajamas, let's go now before we both die.
Brandon: okay.
I dragged Brandon along the deck until we were at a safe place from the commotion.
We sat down. Brandon was crying.
Me: can u shut up?
Brandon cried even louder.
Me: shut up!
Brandon: i'm scared...... i don't want to die. i'm a coward. i don't want to die.
Me: i know u're a coward okay, just shut up!
Brandon: okay.
After n minutes.......
Brandon: are we sinking yet?
Me: yes we are sinking, but super slowly.
After another n minutes.......
Me: i can't believe the captain is having candle light dinner on the lifeboat while enjoying the scenery of the shipwreck.
Brandon: lixing, i really dun want to die. i really dun want to die. please save me.
Me: SHUT UP!
After another n minutes.......
Me: okay, i think the deck is reaching the water soon. get ready ur pyjamas?
Brandon: omg i left my Plato's Republic in my room, i've got to take it along.
Me: can u stop being a freaking philophile and get ur pyjamas ready?
Brandon: nooooo. plato's republic is my life. oh ya, and my decartes meditations, hume's treatise, locke's human understanding.
Me: u go to hell lah u. u go back to get ur whatever philophilic stuffs. i'm going off.
Brandon ran back to his room to retrieve his books while I joined in with 3 other passengers and prepared to jump into the water.
.
.
.
.
We found a large steel scrap and climb onto it. We were temporarily relieved but still desperately looked out for rescue.
.
.
.
.
After an hour, we saw an UFO (unidentified floating object) on the water. It was floating nearer and nearer to us.
It was the philophile, Brandon, again. His left arm was holding onto the pyjamas that I gave him and his right arm was holding on to his philophilic stuffs, preventing them from touching water.
Brandon: pls, save me. lixing. save me.
Me: can u throw away ur philophilic stuffs first? we cant afford to have those heavy stuff here.
Brandon: no, they're my precioussssssssss.
Me: then u can go to hell with ur preciousssssssssss.
Brandon: fine, i'll throw them away. promise me u'll let me on.
Me: okay, sure.
Brandon, after much hesitation, dumped his philophilic stuffs into the sea. When I was going to pull Brandon up, one of the guys spoke.......
One of the guys: wait a minute. what makes him so special that he can get on here? u well know that we're going to sink already.
Me: errrrrrrr, he's my gd fren?
One of the guys: so what if he's ur gd fren?
Me: so i should save him?
One of the guys: no that's not the case, unless u can tell me something special about him.
I stoned awhile to think of some special things about Brandon.
Me: he's super screwed up?
One of the guys: i'm super screwed up too.
Me: he pons school 3 times a week?
One of the guys: i pon school 3 times a week too.
Me: he has no life and mugs everyday?
One of the guys: i have no life too and plays CS everyday.
Me: okay, i know something that surely u're not.
One of the guys: what?
Me: he's not a virgin since 13.
One of the guys: haha, i'm not a virgin since 13 too.
Brandon, although dying out of energy and was in a semi-conscious state, managed to speak.
Brandon: no u're wrong, i was just.......
Me: oh ya, i was wrong, he's not a virgin since 12. i'm so sry brandon, i've undermined ur screwed-up-ness.
Brandon: it's okay. a lot of ppl do.
One of the guys: omg, u're not a virgin since 12? that totally pwns me.
Me: of course. now can he get on?
One of the guys: of course. please get on, mr. not virgin since 13, i mean 12. u've earned ur place of honour.
Everybody: hail the lord of not virgin since 13, i mean 12.
For once Brandon was saved and didn't die. Thanks to 12, not 13.
I was stunned when I heard what the captain had just announced.
Captain: attention all passengers, we've struck a school of swordfishes and the ship is now very holey, we're going down. however, we have enough lifeboats for me and my family. so don't worry and panic about us. if u wish to survive, pls tie ur pyjamas up and use them as floats as how u're taught in swimming lessons. those who didn't go for swimming lesson before, lessons will be conducted in the common pool every tuesday 9am to 10am. it'll be $90 per lesson per person. sign up for the lessons early as place is limited. good night and have sweet shipwreck.
Wth? The captain is out of his mind.
Luckily I took swimming lessons before.
I quickly took out my pajamas and tied it up. I thought it wasn't safe enough so i tied a few more.
I ran out of my room and rushed to the deck.
I tripped over a person as I was running on the deck.
It was Brandon, covering his head with his hands and crying.
Me: omg why are u on the same ship as me? oh gosh. this ship is ill-fated to have u as its passenger and so suay shipwrecked. anw can u go and stop stoning here?
Brandon: i can't go, i nv go for swimming lessons before, i dunnoe how to tie pyjamas. i need to go to the common pool now and sign up for lessons.
Me: omg i can't believe u're more stupid than brandon. i'll give u one of my pajamas, let's go now before we both die.
Brandon: okay.
I dragged Brandon along the deck until we were at a safe place from the commotion.
We sat down. Brandon was crying.
Me: can u shut up?
Brandon cried even louder.
Me: shut up!
Brandon: i'm scared...... i don't want to die. i'm a coward. i don't want to die.
Me: i know u're a coward okay, just shut up!
Brandon: okay.
After n minutes.......
Brandon: are we sinking yet?
Me: yes we are sinking, but super slowly.
After another n minutes.......
Me: i can't believe the captain is having candle light dinner on the lifeboat while enjoying the scenery of the shipwreck.
Brandon: lixing, i really dun want to die. i really dun want to die. please save me.
Me: SHUT UP!
After another n minutes.......
Me: okay, i think the deck is reaching the water soon. get ready ur pyjamas?
Brandon: omg i left my Plato's Republic in my room, i've got to take it along.
Me: can u stop being a freaking philophile and get ur pyjamas ready?
Brandon: nooooo. plato's republic is my life. oh ya, and my decartes meditations, hume's treatise, locke's human understanding.
Me: u go to hell lah u. u go back to get ur whatever philophilic stuffs. i'm going off.
Brandon ran back to his room to retrieve his books while I joined in with 3 other passengers and prepared to jump into the water.
.
.
.
.
We found a large steel scrap and climb onto it. We were temporarily relieved but still desperately looked out for rescue.
.
.
.
.
After an hour, we saw an UFO (unidentified floating object) on the water. It was floating nearer and nearer to us.
It was the philophile, Brandon, again. His left arm was holding onto the pyjamas that I gave him and his right arm was holding on to his philophilic stuffs, preventing them from touching water.
Brandon: pls, save me. lixing. save me.
Me: can u throw away ur philophilic stuffs first? we cant afford to have those heavy stuff here.
Brandon: no, they're my precioussssssssss.
Me: then u can go to hell with ur preciousssssssssss.
Brandon: fine, i'll throw them away. promise me u'll let me on.
Me: okay, sure.
Brandon, after much hesitation, dumped his philophilic stuffs into the sea. When I was going to pull Brandon up, one of the guys spoke.......
One of the guys: wait a minute. what makes him so special that he can get on here? u well know that we're going to sink already.
Me: errrrrrrr, he's my gd fren?
One of the guys: so what if he's ur gd fren?
Me: so i should save him?
One of the guys: no that's not the case, unless u can tell me something special about him.
I stoned awhile to think of some special things about Brandon.
Me: he's super screwed up?
One of the guys: i'm super screwed up too.
Me: he pons school 3 times a week?
One of the guys: i pon school 3 times a week too.
Me: he has no life and mugs everyday?
One of the guys: i have no life too and plays CS everyday.
Me: okay, i know something that surely u're not.
One of the guys: what?
Me: he's not a virgin since 13.
One of the guys: haha, i'm not a virgin since 13 too.
Brandon, although dying out of energy and was in a semi-conscious state, managed to speak.
Brandon: no u're wrong, i was just.......
Me: oh ya, i was wrong, he's not a virgin since 12. i'm so sry brandon, i've undermined ur screwed-up-ness.
Brandon: it's okay. a lot of ppl do.
One of the guys: omg, u're not a virgin since 12? that totally pwns me.
Me: of course. now can he get on?
One of the guys: of course. please get on, mr. not virgin since 13, i mean 12. u've earned ur place of honour.
Everybody: hail the lord of not virgin since 13, i mean 12.
For once Brandon was saved and didn't die. Thanks to 12, not 13.
Steven saw the light at 1:13 AM
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