Some pics from class adventure camp and nat day.
Thx to cellie!

Emoooooo. XD

Okay first off i would like to say i've been a virgin since 13, oops i mean 12. and secondly the stories are funny. XD and lastly the below story is something that i just came up with because i felt weird and wanted to write something about stuff falling off. i wanted to write leaf but for obvious reasons it would sound weird so i changed every leaf to petal and there you go you have a really lousy story with no link and it doesnt even make sense to me but its so limited to use language to express how you feel so i dunno why i even try rarr i'm ranting sorreh.

And please, if you find this doesnt make sense, ignore it and move on. XD i dunno why i even posted it here. sorry. just wanted to share sth with u guys. yupp.




A single petal falls to the ground.

He stares at it blankly, not understanding its significance. He is such a kid.

Another petal falls to the ground.

He starts to wonder, why the petals are falling. He looks up to see dozens of flowers above him, in the giant towering tree they call ....

Another petal falls to the ground.

Bending over, he picks up a petal and examines it. Within the petal its depth of colour enchanting and insinuating and tempting, alluring him to step within. And he does, mesmerized by its charm and beauty.

And he is such a kid, to be captivated by the superficial and common charm of a petal.

yet he is more, much, much more than the best of us all. Because he can be captivated so by the common charm of a petal.



The wind blows. A shower of petals rain upon him, drenching him in their fragrance.

He takes a deep breath of fresh air, taking in the moment, living in the present, uncaring about the future. or more significantly, the past. And he just stands there, breathing, living, existing, as if all in this world could be condensed to this simple moment, as if all he had to do, all he was to do, all he was destined to do, was to just take this magnifique picturesque snapshot of time and nature and life in its elemental beauty.

Suddenly, like breaking the spell or enchantment, he coughs.

The sound travels far and wide, to the furthest ends of the earth and the deepest depths of the oceans. it echoes and echoes, neverending, its harsh hacking sound penetrating the myth of serenity and permeating the atmosphere with its severity. In the instant, the shower of petals cease, and as he turns up to look he finds that there is but one petal left, hanging by a thread. THe cough pierces the momentary silence like a knife through skin, splitting it cleanly and leaving its markings forever etched in blood. .... is dying.

He is stunned by that realization. .... is dying.

maybe he isnt such a kid anymore.


he hears the little voices in his head, talking, whispering, shouting, cajoling, screaming, ordering, entertaining, trying to get a hold on him. ".... is dying!" they say. "shut up," he screams silently back at the tide of voices threatening to overwhelm him. "Listen to me" says a voice. "listen to us."

"BUT YOU GUYS SAID THAT HE AND SHE WOULD LAST FOREVER BUT THEY DIDNT." he retorted.

and that was that.

so is .... dying?



the petal still hangs by a thread, waiting for the answer.

If you know the answer will you tell me? please? just so i can tell the kid who isnt such a kid anymore.


He waits everyday, waiting to see if the single petal falls to the ground.

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival.
Stop mugging and go appreciate the moon now!

Okay ppl. I figure that I need some time to get into a mood to mug and promos is really coming soon. So I won't be writing anymore of 12, not 13 until after promos. I'm so sorry.

Anyway, how about a class outing on Saturday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We can have fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please come okay?

Dun give stupid reasons such as:
1. i have china study test on monday.
2. i need to rehearse for op.
3. i need to do my mini-is.
4. i have post-promo blues.

Main point is, just come okay? If not after we take back promos and you get grounded at home, you won't be able to come out to play anymore.

12, not 13. Part 4

The siren sounded.
I was stunned when I heard what the captain had just announced.

Captain: attention all passengers, we've struck a school of swordfishes and the ship is now very holey, we're going down. however, we have enough lifeboats for me and my family. so don't worry and panic about us. if u wish to survive, pls tie ur pyjamas up and use them as floats as how u're taught in swimming lessons. those who didn't go for swimming lesson before, lessons will be conducted in the common pool every tuesday 9am to 10am. it'll be $90 per lesson per person. sign up for the lessons early as place is limited. good night and have sweet shipwreck.

Wth? The captain is out of his mind.
Luckily I took swimming lessons before.
I quickly took out my pajamas and tied it up. I thought it wasn't safe enough so i tied a few more.
I ran out of my room and rushed to the deck.

I tripped over a person as I was running on the deck.
It was Brandon, covering his head with his hands and crying.

Me: omg why are u on the same ship as me? oh gosh. this ship is ill-fated to have u as its passenger and so suay shipwrecked. anw can u go and stop stoning here?
Brandon: i can't go, i nv go for swimming lessons before, i dunnoe how to tie pyjamas. i need to go to the common pool now and sign up for lessons.
Me: omg i can't believe u're more stupid than brandon. i'll give u one of my pajamas, let's go now before we both die.
Brandon: okay.

I dragged Brandon along the deck until we were at a safe place from the commotion.
We sat down. Brandon was crying.

Me: can u shut up?

Brandon cried even louder.

Me: shut up!
Brandon: i'm scared...... i don't want to die. i'm a coward. i don't want to die.
Me: i know u're a coward okay, just shut up!
Brandon: okay.

After n minutes.......

Brandon: are we sinking yet?
Me: yes we are sinking, but super slowly.

After another n minutes.......

Me: i can't believe the captain is having candle light dinner on the lifeboat while enjoying the scenery of the shipwreck.
Brandon: lixing, i really dun want to die. i really dun want to die. please save me.
Me: SHUT UP!

After another n minutes.......

Me: okay, i think the deck is reaching the water soon. get ready ur pyjamas?
Brandon: omg i left my Plato's Republic in my room, i've got to take it along.
Me: can u stop being a freaking philophile and get ur pyjamas ready?
Brandon: nooooo. plato's republic is my life. oh ya, and my decartes meditations, hume's treatise, locke's human understanding.
Me: u go to hell lah u. u go back to get ur whatever philophilic stuffs. i'm going off.

Brandon ran back to his room to retrieve his books while I joined in with 3 other passengers and prepared to jump into the water.

.
.
.
.

We found a large steel scrap and climb onto it. We were temporarily relieved but still desperately looked out for rescue.

.
.
.
.

After an hour, we saw an UFO (unidentified floating object) on the water. It was floating nearer and nearer to us.
It was the philophile, Brandon, again. His left arm was holding onto the pyjamas that I gave him and his right arm was holding on to his philophilic stuffs, preventing them from touching water.

Brandon: pls, save me. lixing. save me.
Me: can u throw away ur philophilic stuffs first? we cant afford to have those heavy stuff here.
Brandon: no, they're my precioussssssssss.
Me: then u can go to hell with ur preciousssssssssss.
Brandon: fine, i'll throw them away. promise me u'll let me on.
Me: okay, sure.

Brandon, after much hesitation, dumped his philophilic stuffs into the sea. When I was going to pull Brandon up, one of the guys spoke.......

One of the guys: wait a minute. what makes him so special that he can get on here? u well know that we're going to sink already.
Me: errrrrrrr, he's my gd fren?
One of the guys: so what if he's ur gd fren?
Me: so i should save him?
One of the guys: no that's not the case, unless u can tell me something special about him.

I stoned awhile to think of some special things about Brandon.

Me: he's super screwed up?
One of the guys: i'm super screwed up too.
Me: he pons school 3 times a week?
One of the guys: i pon school 3 times a week too.
Me: he has no life and mugs everyday?
One of the guys: i have no life too and plays CS everyday.
Me: okay, i know something that surely u're not.
One of the guys: what?
Me: he's not a virgin since 13.
One of the guys: haha, i'm not a virgin since 13 too.

Brandon, although dying out of energy and was in a semi-conscious state, managed to speak.

Brandon: no u're wrong, i was just.......
Me: oh ya, i was wrong, he's not a virgin since 12. i'm so sry brandon, i've undermined ur screwed-up-ness.
Brandon: it's okay. a lot of ppl do.
One of the guys: omg, u're not a virgin since 12? that totally pwns me.
Me: of course. now can he get on?
One of the guys: of course. please get on, mr. not virgin since 13, i mean 12. u've earned ur place of honour.
Everybody: hail the lord of not virgin since 13, i mean 12.

For once Brandon was saved and didn't die. Thanks to 12, not 13.

12, not 13. Part 3

Fortune teller (FT): and u'll die peacefully at the age of 80.
Me: damn it. can i die at 50 years old? i dun want to be a nuisance of the society.
FT: the only reason why old ppl still exist in the society is becoz the youngsters need to have a source of CIP hours. so u're not a nuisance by being old.
Me: oh ya. you've got a point here.

It's the year 2020. The fortune teller whom I was talking to is by far the most famous one around. He gives very accurate predictions of one's future.

FT: okay, u've used up all ur 3 questions. i'm afraid this session is over.
Me: thx a lot.

I stood up and was ready to go. Turning back, I had a shock of my life. I saw an old friend, Brandon.

Me: omg BRANDON, long long long time no see.
Brandon: how're u, fren?
Me: i'm fine.
Brandon: Brenton, Brennon, Brennan, Brendon, Braiden, Branden, Braeden, Brayden, Breydon, Braden, Branson, Braedon. Say hello to uncle.

Looking down, I saw this massive number of kids behind Brandon.

Brandon: i'm so sry but Braden, Branson and Braedon are too young to say hello to u.
Me: it's okay. errrrrrrrr, are these ur kids?
Brandon: ya.
Me: omg, what a nice dozen of kids.
Brandon: thx.
Me: i think u're damn pro in reproducing litters of viable offspring. where's ur wife, may I know?
Brandon: she's giving birth in the hospital now.

I was like -.-

Me: so u're coming for the fortune teller?
Brandon: ya.
Me: he's really imba. why not i wait for u and we go and have a drink after u're done?
Brandon: okay sure.

FT: i can see that u're coming to look for me.
Brandon: omg how did u know?
FT: bcoz i'm totally imba and i didn't hear what u two are talking just now.
Brandon: wow, u're really pro.
FT: i can tell u 3 things each about ur past, present and future.
Brandon: okay, that's cool.

FT: let's start with the present. firstly, u're married and have 12 kids.
Brandon: omg how do u know that?
FT: bcoz i'm totally imba and i didn't see the kids behind u.
Brandon: wow, u didn't see my kids and u know that? u're awesome.
FT: Secondly, u have just met a long time fren.
Brandon: omg how do u know that?
FT: becoz i'm totally imba and i didn't see ur fren just now.
Brandon: wow, no wonder my fren say that u're really imba.
FT: lastly, ur name is brandon.
Brandon: omg how do know that?
FT: bcoz i'm totally imba and i didn't hear ur fren saying ur name just now.
Brandon: i knew u didn't hear him saying my name. u're really damn pro.

FT: okay, let's continue with the past. please give me ur palm, i'm going to do some palm reading.
Brandon: Okay.

Brandon obediently stretched out his palm to the fortune teller.

FT: mmmmmmmm, let's see here. this line on palm which corresponds to ur school life is pretty long. long, long, long, it rhymes pon. U must have pon school a lot in the past.
Brandon: omg, u're absolutely right. i always pon school last time bcoz i'm sick of sch and i like to hibernate at home to mug. somehow i still get excellent for conduct bcoz i suck up to the CT. hehe.
FT: mmmmmmmmm, here. this line which corresponds to ur bgr is pretty short. u must very little girlfriends in the past. wait a minute! this bbr line here is very rough and messy. u, u have a lot of......?
Brandon: shhhhhhh, i've kids here. i dun want them to know my dirty little secrets.
FT: okay, this last line here, i need to take a ruler to measure its length.

The fortune teller took out his ruler and started measuring the crooked line.

FT: it's 1.7 inch long. mmmmmm how old are u?
Brandon: i'm 30 this year. i tot u're supposed to know this.
FT: 30, mmmmmm, 30 minus 17 equals 13. omggggggg, u're not a virgin since 13?
Brandon: no, u're wrong, haha, u're wrong for the first time. i was just..........
FT: oh i'm so sry, parallax error here. 1.8 inch. so u're not a virgin since 12.
Brenton: daddy, what's a virgin? why are u not a virgin since 13? i mean 12.
Brandon: nothing, virigin, errrrrrrrrr, virgin, errrrrrrrr, virgin is a noob, okay?
Brenton: okay, daddy. i dun want to be a virgin too.
Brandon: that's my gd boy.

FT: now, u can ask me the final 3 questions about ur future.
Brandon: when can i break Moulay Ismail's world record of fathering 867 kids?
FT: i'm afraid u won't. according to the constellations in the sky, u will only father 866 children.
Brandon: omggggggggggggggggg. it's unfair. life is unfair.
FT: it's ur destiny, let it be.
Brandon: i dun care. i must invent something to shoot down all the stars in the sky so i can have as many children as i want.
FT: okay, whatever.

FT: second question?
Brandon: will i rule the world?
FT: yes of course u will. u're only left with 3 pokemons to catch to complete ur pokedex. let me tell u secret to do so, in order to rule the world, u've gotta catch 'em all.
Brandon: i knew it, i knew it. i knew one day i can become the rule the world. this is my one and only ambition in my life. some have told me that it's another mission impossible. but i just knew that i can do it. hahahaha, i'm the greatest master ever, i'll rule the world. Brenton, pass me my gameboy.
Brenton: okay daddy. u can do it. dun be a virgin okay?
FT: i wasn't a virgin since 13, i mean 12, haven't u heard. and u can't virginise urself once u're not a virgin.

FT: okay can u ask me the third question before u catch ur pokemons?
Brandon: okay, will i go to heaven or hell after i die?
FT: gd question. u won't go to either. coz u're so screwed up that both god and satan don't want u to corrupt their world.
Brandon: oh no, then where can i go?
FT: nowhere.
Brandon: i think i'll open up a new realm myself called the Helven, where rejects like me can reside and have a happy life there reproducing offsprings.
FT: errrrrrrr, if u really do so, then there'll be only one person in Helven. coz u're the alpha and omega of heaven and hell reject.
Brandon: i hate the world so much. damn it!

Brandon stood up angrily and left the fortune teller.

Me: why not we go have a drink and chill down.
Brandon: okay then............... wait i have a call.

Brandon picked up the phone.

Brandon: what the! my wife had a 854-tuplet and died? OOOOMMMMGGGG! okay i'll rush to the hospital now.

Brandon ran to his car across the road like a headless fly.
A bicycle came riding slowly towards him.
In an attempt to dodge the bicycle, he jumped to the next lane where he was hit by a fast-driving car.
Brandon died terribly with his body pulverized and his skull smashed.

The fortune teller shrugged his shoulders and said to the kids......

FT: boys, i can teach u a song that is the most appropriate for this occasion.

The fortune teller started singing the Happy Tree Friend theme and the kids followed suit. Amazingly the young Braden, Branson and Braedon were also able to sing it. Reluctantly, I joined in too.

Me: i think we better stop. should we call 995?
FT: ya, i think we should, we might save him.
Me: ya, and prevent his creation of Helvan.
FT: ya, and complete his pokedex.

12, not 13. Part 2

I was strolling on the beach one fine evening, gazing at the twinkling stars.
The twinkling stars made me feel so emo. I was sobbing.
I felt that i ought to sing an emo song to relieve my emo-ness.
"twinkle, twinkle little star, how i wonder .........." I started singing.
I felt much relieved after singing this super emo song.

Suddenly, I noticed a shadow in the water.
Rubbing my eyes and making sure I wasn't hallucinating, I identified the shadow to be Brandon.

Me: oi, what u doing?
Brandon: dun bother me!

He was snivelling.

Brandon: Leaf me alone!

He crushed a poor little leaf in his hand and threw at me.

Me: ouch, u hurted me lah.

Brandon started walking into the sea.

Me: what was i going to ask u ah? oh ya, what u doing here?
Brandon: stop bothering me.

He continued to walk deeper into the sea, whimpering loudly.

Brandon: life is unfair, i'm really really sry. i feel so bad about myself.
Me: dun tell me that u're going to commit suicide. it's okay, go on. a world without u will be much better.
Brandon: eh, when ppl are going to commit suicide, u should do ur best to stop them wat.
Me: okay, okay, fine. brandon, u shouldn't do that. every life is precious.
Brandon: quit trying to stop me. i must do it tonight.

I thought, since he said I must TRY MY BEST to stop him, I'll try my best.

Me: i know brandon, u're some super screwed up guy. but a lot of ppl are much more screwed up than u. for example, errrr, errrrrr, errrrrrrrrr, brandon?

Brandon cries even louder.

Me: sry sry. i know u're bad coz u always pon school bcoz u're sick, errr, errrrr, errrrrrrrr of school?

Brandon cries even louder.

Me: sry sry. u know after u die, a lot of ppl will feel hurted. like, errrr, errrrrr, errrrrrrr, who ah? sry i cant think of anyone right now but i'm sure a lot of ppl will feel hurted.

Brandon cries even louder.

Me: i know u're not a virgin since 13 but a lot of ppl are not virgin since 13 too u know.
Brandon: no, u're wrong. i was just.......
Me: oh ya, i'm wrong. 12, 12. damn it, how come i keep on forgetting. i shall say it a few times to memorise it. brandon is not a virgin since 12. brandon is not a virgin since 12. brandon is not a virgin since 12. brandon is not a virgin since 12. brandon is not a virgin since 12.
Me: okay, i wont get it wrong next time. i promise. so dun die okay, if u still want to hear me get "brandon is not a virgin since 13" right next time. oh, damn it!!!

Brandon cries even louder.

Brandon: stop it lah. i wasn't trying to commit suicide. i was just trying to look for the winnie the pooh pencilcase that i dropped into the water.
Me: cherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. go and die lah. waste my emotions to say so much good things about u.
Brandon: where is it? where is it? where is it? that pencilcase is my precioussss, my precioussssssss.
Me: siao. i'm sure u can find it. this place is so dark and so big.
Brandon: i will find it.

I figured that the tide was coming in and made up a lie to get Brandon out of the water.

Me: oi, u know here got shark or not?
Brandon: dunnoe.
Me: u better get out of water now.
Brandon: no i can't, i must find my precioussssssss before the sharks eat it up. They can't eat my precioussssss.

I was like -.-

Me: i think sharks prefer human flesh to pencilcase?
Brandon: huh really? oh that's gd. after the sharks eat me, they'll be too full to eat my preciousssssss.
Me: omggggggg, i cant believe that u're more stupid than brandon! they wont eat and they dun eat ur precioussssss. they eat UUUU! anyway, i'm getting out of here. the truth is, the tide is coming and u better get out of here too, if not u'll be drowned.
Brandon: no i can swim. i won't get drowned.
Me: okay whatever.

I got out of the water.

The tide came, as expected.
The tide covered Brandon, as expected.
Brandon tried to swim, as expected.
Brandon drowned and died, as expected.
I sighed, as expected.

Covering my eyes and looking down, I saw a familiar white object.
Yeah. That's Brandon's winnie the pooh pencilcase being washed ashore by the tide.
I held up the pencilcase and desperately searched for Brandon but to no avail.
The screen circled in at the spot that Brandon drowned.
And the Happy Tree Friend theme was played.

A PURELY FICTIONAL STORY.

i somehow thought of it just now when i felt a little bit emo.

12, not 13. Part 1

At the end of the Millenium, Satan was cast into the Lake of Fire.
All souls and spirits were gathered in the court of Last Judgment waiting to be judged by God.
The queue was long but it was almost my turn.
Turning back, I saw Brandon queuing right behind me.

Me: eh, how come u're here? i nv see u just now.
Brandon: u blind lah u.
Me: whatever, going to be judged liao still scold ppl somemore.
Brandon: haha later u sure kanna, do so many wrong things.
Me: like u nv like that. i bet u'll go have fun with satan in that lake.
Brandon: i'm sure. i bet u will.
Me: u will.
Brandon: u will.

Voice: next, steven.

Brandon: haha, ur turn.

I went forward. The angels stretched out long scrolls of manuscripts.

Voice: mmmmmm, steven.
Me: yes, i am.
Voice: aren't u the one who microwaved the ants?
Me: errrrrrrr......

Brandon was laughing and shouting behind.

Brandon: haha, yes he's the one. hahaha, he also played circular motion with cats, put salt on snails and ..............
Me: shut up brandon! damn it. oh i'm really really sry about those terrible stuffs i did.
Voice: it's okay, u're forgiven. however, u'll be sent to the "torture animals" cell in hell for two weeks as a punishment. i hope u'll learn ur lesson.
Me: phew, two weeks only, thank you.
Voice: errrrrrrr, just for ur info, two weeks here is twenty thousand mortal years.

Me: ooooooooommmmmmmmggggggggggg.
Voice: yes? why are u calling me?
Brandon: hahahahaha, what a loserrrrrr!! enjoy ur "two weeks only" vacation. hahaha.

I was like "damn it! stupid brandon".

While i was slowly being led away by an angel, i heard the voice behind saying......

Voice: brandon, i heard that u're not a virgin since 13.
Brandon: no, you're wrong. i was just........
Voice: oh ya, i was wrong, according to this scroll here, u're not a virgin since 12.

I was laughing like a hyena. "I knew it since the first day I met him, I just knew it." I said to myself.

Voice: you'll go to hell for two weeks also.
Brandon: nooooooooooooo!
Voice: errrrrr, the "no chiobu" cell to be exact.

A PURELY FICTIONAL STORY.

i somehow thought of it just now when i was trying to microwave ants again and was thinking that maybe i'll go to hell for that.

i think this is a good idea:

http://www.cafepress.com/ihearttees/2816228

Happy mugging everyone! Promos is coming, less than 20 days from now on!

But remember,

"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."

So, try this game. Have fun.

http://www.winterrowd.com/maze/

Class "MEGA MUGGING MADNESS" on tuesday after chem makeup in library.
We'll go to bishan library first see whether got space coz we can eat there without getting a white slip.
If there's no space, we'll go back to school library, kill the librarians, and we can still eat there without getting a white slip.
Okay set!

Those who don't go will be called a closet mugger.