12, not 13. Part 5

It’s the 19th September 2013. The headline of every newspaper read, “Alien Invasion!”. Below was an excerpt from the Straits Times article.
“This is the message from the invading aliens. ‘Inhabitants of planet Earth. We are from the distant galaxy BK 1213. Our intelligence revealed that Earth is currently overpopulated by immoral people. Our mission on this planet is therefore, to kill every single immoral people on Earth and cleanse Earth of its filth. Those who have committed immoral acts, prepared to be doomed.”

In retrospect, I had never done any immoral acts since I’m a super pure and innocent boy. I breathed a sigh of relief as I continue my walk home. Suddenly, a guy knocked into me in a hurry. I looked at the person. He seemed vaguely familiar.

Guy: omg, lixing. you better help me.
Me: brandon? omg, how are you?

Brandon was the super duper screwed up ex-classmate of mine who had done tons of screwed up stuffs such as ponning school everyday. He looked as if he was possessed. Drips of cold sweat could be seen on his face. He was obviously suffering from great fear and anxiety.

Brandon: you’ve got to help me this time, i’m being chased down by the aliens.
Me: expected lah, you’re so super screwed up. so what did you do to make the aliens chase after you?
Brandon: i, i, i cannot tell you.
Me: i’m not gonna help you if you don’t tell me what you did.

At the same time, a dozen aliens, armed with stun guns and electromagnetic handcuffs, arrived. Brandon, in a shock, scampered off. I ran after Brandon. Eventually, we ran into a dead alley. The aliens closed up and surrounded us. We had nowhere to run. (Actually it should be Brandon has nowhere to run since I’m not the one being chased after.)

Aliens: escape no more, brandon. prepared to die.
Brandon: no don’t kill me, i don’t deserve to die.
Aliens: our intelligence shows that you’re not virgin since …… 13…… i mean……
Brandon: yes i’m not a virgin since 13. lixing, only you can help me now. go look for Ronald Chan, he has the power to go back in time. you can then stop me when I was 13.
Me: ok. i see to it that you’re my ex-classmate, i’ll help you this time.
Brandon: thank you so much.

The aliens proceeded on to handcuff Brandon and brought him back to their UFO for execution. Immediately, I took a taxi to Ronald Chan’s house. I was about to press the doorbell when the door opened by itself. Ronald Chan was sitting on a armchair with his back facing me. A strong aura of knowledge and intelligence was emitted from his presence.

Ronald Chan: i’ve been expecting you, mr. sun.
Me: i’m here to……
Ronald Chan: i know, i know. i know why you’re here. i know everything.
Me: May i…….
Ronald Chan: i know, i know. yes, you may.
Me: so………
Ronald Chan: i know, i know. i’ll tell you how.
Me: ………
Ronald Chan: i know, i know. you don’t have to explain.
Me: ….
Ronald Chan: i know, i know. you should save him.
Me:
Ronald Chan: i know, i know. you’ll show you the path.
Me: -.-
Ronald Chan: i know, i know. just follow me.

I followed Ronald Chan on a mysterious meandering path that led to a vast laboratory wider than the Grand Canyon and taller than the sky. A gigantic, resplendent time capsule sat right at the center of the laboratory in all its grandeur. The sight of Ronald Chan’s lab totally revered me and I was stunned for 4 sec (suay).

Me:
Ronald Chan: i know, i know. enter the capsule here. so which year do you intend to go?
Me: it’s…….
Ronald Chan: i know, i know. you’re on your way. ronaldchanspeed.

The next moment I knew, I was inside Ronald Chan’s lab back in 1913. I saw the young Ronald Chan when he was still sec 1 standing in front of me.

Me: hello, i ………
Young Ronald Chan: i know, i know. do whatever you have to do.
Me: -.-
Young Ronald Chan: i know, i know. i know everything.

I took a taxi to Brandon’s house. He was celebrating his 13th birthday with his girlfriend. I closely observed them as dusk fell. They went into Brandon’s room and started to get touchy. I quickly ran in and stopped them.

Me: brandon, you’ve got to stop.
Brandon: who are you? what are you doing here?
Me: i’m you soon-to-be classmate. anyway I come from the future year 2013. you’ve been killed by aliens because you did a very immoral thing when you’re young. and you begged me to go back in time to stop you from doing it. So here I’m stopping you from what you’re doing now.
Brandon: i don’t really care if i’m gonna die or not, i'm already so super screwed up. anyway it’s like 10 years away from now, i don't really care about my future.
Me: please, i promise brandon to stop you and i’ll do it. so stop what you’re doing.
Brandon: okay fine fine fine. i’ll stop.

With my mission completed, I happily hopped back to Ronald Chan’s lab. As I entered the time capsule, I took one last look at the young Ronald Chan.

Me: ……
Young Ronald Chan: i know, i know. just go. ronaldchanspeed.

I was once again, inside Ronald Chan’s lab in 2013. I looked at Ronald Chan and wanted to say thank you before I was about to leave but he interrupted me again.

Ronald Chan: i know………
Me: shut up! i know that you know what i know. But just because you know what i know doesn’t mean i don’t have to say what I know even though you know it and you must keep on telling me that you know what i know by saying “i know i know”.
Ronald Chan: i……
Me: SHUT UP!

I left Ronald Chan’s lab and ran straight to the dead alley where Brandon was caught. When I arrived there………

Aliens: escape no more, brandon. prepared to die.
Brandon: no don’t kill me, i don’t deserve to die.
Aliens: our intelligence shows that you’re not virgin since 13, i mean 12.
Aliens: escape no more, brandon. prepared to die.
Brandon: yes i know i’m a virgin since 13, i mean 12. lixing, only you can help me now. go look for ronald chan, he has the power to go back in time. you can then stop me when i was 13, i mean 12.
Me: oh ya? so you were not a virgin since 13, i mean 12, not 13?
Brandon: please you have to help me this time.
Me: you’re right, go to hell brandon!

As he was handcuffed and carried away, his begging still can be heard.
Brandon: please go back to when i was 13, i mean 12. please, it’s 12, not 13, i mean 12, not 13, i mean 12…………….

With all my effort spent going back to when he was 13, I’m not gonna go back to when he was 12. Damn it. Brandon deserved to die.